i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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