used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
