if you like me you must not know who I am
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
