What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
