Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
