My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
