I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
