Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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