summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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