check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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