Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
