Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
