"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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