forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
