I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
