Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
