whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
