oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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