I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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