Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
