I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
