so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
