We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
