Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
