I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
