Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
