the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
