Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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