On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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