May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
