He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
