I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
