youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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