you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
