I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
