you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
