Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
