we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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