yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
