At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
