My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
