I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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