i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
