That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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