Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
