We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
