I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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