i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
