Duck Duck Cougar?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
