She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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