I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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